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frecklesandspunk
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Name: Jen
Birthday: 3/31/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: I guess this just means the things that I love so here goes:
singing, playing violin, swing dancing, reading scriptures or other excellent books, swimming in the ocean, catching lizards, running and hiking, making things smell nice, laughing, cooking pizza and Italian food, and puddle stomping...there's a lot more but I figure those are most important
Expertise: skipping through hallways, getting myself into embarassing situations, quoting random movie lines, singing and talking to myself and inanimate objects, and wrestling my nephews and sister.
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  daffodiljonesey
Member Since:
1/15/2004
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| To all of you who care, this is my last entry. For umm...forever. Today
my bishop told us that the internet was a two faced resource. There is
so much information that could be obtained but that smut is becoming
more and more prevalent. One of the ways that could connect us to
danger was having a website where anyone at anytime could obtain
information to harm us or send us dirty material. He listed xanga sites
as one of those websites. So there we are. I shall obey the advice of
my church leaders.
That being said, I hope to convey a little of why I find following this
advice so important. So here is an exerpt from a talk given by Jeffrey
R. Holland:
Eggs Cannot Fly
"Christ says give me it all. I don't want so much of your time or so
much of your money of so much of your work- I want you. I have not come
to torment your natural self, but to kill it. No half measures are any
good. I don't want to cut off a branch here and there- I want the tree
down. I don't want to drill the tooth or crown it or stop it- I want it
out. Hand over your whole natural self, all your desires, the ones that
you think are innocent as well as the ones you think are wicked. You
give me the whole outfit and I will give you a new self. In fact, I
will give you myself, and my will shall become your will.
The terrible thing, of course, is to hand over your
whole self, all your wishes and all of your precautions, to Christ, but
that is far easier than what we are trying to do instead. For what we
are trying to do instead is to remain what we call "ourselves", to keep
personal happiness as our aim in life, and yet the same time be
reasonably good. We are trying to let our hearts and minds go their own
way centered on money, or sex, or ambition, or pleasure, hoping in
spite of this to behave hoenstly and humbly--- and that is exactly what
Christ warned us that we cannot do.
He said that a thistle cannot produce figs. If I'm a
field that contains grass seed I cannot produce wheat. Cutting the
grass may keep it short, but it shall still produce grass and never
wheat. If I want to produce wheat the change must go far deeper than
the surface. It must be plowed up and re-sown. It is the difference
between paint, which is simply on the surface, or a dye that soaks
right through.
He never talked about it vaguely. He said "Be
perfect", and he meant it. He meant that we must go in for the full
treatment. See, I have chosen you, you have not chosen me. You come to
this on my terms and I want you for the full treatment. Now that's
hard. The sort of compromise that we are hankering after is harder
still, in fact, it's impossible.
It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird, but
it's a jolly slight bit harder for an egg to learn to fly. We are like
eggs at present, but you cannot go on indefinitely being just an
ordinary decent egg. Someday you will either hatch or go bad.....it may
be hard for an egg to become a bird, but it's impossible for an egg to
fly."
I am going to try the only way I know how to become the kind of person
that can hand over my entire self to the Lord that I follow. The only
way I know how is obedience to my leaders. Therein lies my logic. I bid
all of you a very fond farewell and thank you for your time and
comments. If you want to keep in touch with me, email me. 
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| This year has been one of "lasts". My last choir trip/ choir concert/ap
test/ orchestra concert/ youth conference/etc. Today was my last
violin recital. The Asian race is a complex one. They do not possess an
intimidating physical presence but they can certainly strike fear into
the heart of a poor little blonde girl, even if she is one of the
tallest people there. Asians are not generally tall but there is
something to be said for compressed energy. They have so much
discipline and so much stalwart strength all compressed into those
miniature physical frames that they practically radiate the message
"I'm Asian and I was built to dominate". Mrs. Ditullio wanted to pay me
an honor, seeing as how it was my last time, so she placed me as the
grand finale on the program. "Well that's just swell," I think to
myself as I settle into my chair and begin to listen to the expertise
of the young Asians. And then little Lauren gets up and begins to play
her piece. She's half my size with a pint size instrument and she plays
with twice my sound at twice the difficulty. I begin to shift in my
seat with discomfort. And then Eric gets up. 20 minutes of memorized,
unaccompanied Bach insanity. My left eye begins to twitch and I stumble
out of my seat for my turn. I play and try to concentrate on my bow arm
and my intonation and those scary chord sequences in the middle of my
piece. Outcome: I played fairly well. Not excellently and nothing in
comparison with Eric, but I played well which is definitely a first for
me when it comes to performing. I can retire from my place as Mrs.
Ditullio's "blonde student" with an element of honor and pride. For the
first time I did not cry. I can safely say that my violin career ended
on a positive note.
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| Highlights for Youth Conference:
the hoedown! Talk about a blast. Much as I was apprehensive at first
about enjoying myself, Brant and Jon made it quite exciting. Amidst all
the dosy-do-ing, twirling, and "wagon-wheeling" I laughed more than I
had for quite a while.
singing hymns around the campfire. Despite the eight-legged
creatures swarming all about my soiled skirts I was able to
concentrate on the guitar player. It's so fantastic to sit around with
a group of youth that all believe the same thing and sing praises to
Deity.
sleeping under the stars. In a solemn confession, this was the first
time I had ever done that. Amazingly enough, all other times that I
went camping I had always used a tent. This time- nothing but a tarp to
sleep on and a sleeping bag to protect from cold. And so I fell asleep
gazing at the "worlds without number". I think I'll try that again
sometime on my roof.
the pioneer trek. The outline of my shirt is burned into my skin, but
it was worth it. I especially enjoyed the sensation of the union of
women when the men were called off to the mormon battalion. We marched
and pulled that handcart while singing "As Sisters in Zion" and I
thoroughly enjoyed pulling with my fellow sisters. My favorite part was
by far racing Angie into the "Salt Lake Valley". First members to step
foot in Zion!! We ran there from lunch onwards and despite the sweat
and dirt, it was all worth it.
Testimony meeting and meal. There is something indescribably priceless
about seeing Doug Rowe be serious. It's even better when you know that
under his goofy self he actually values the same principles you do, and
holds true to the same faith you yourself treasure. I enjoyed
everyone's, and I won't name them because it seems to defeat the
purpose of a testimony if you hand out verbal accolades. All the same,
my most enlightening experience came with standing and singing "The
Spirit of God" with a whole congregation of youth. The food and
conversation afterwards was splendid despite questionable appearance of
dinner meat.
And so our minivans turned homewards and we all went our separate ways.
Me for the last time. Thus ended my saga of youth conferences on a very
positive and very happy note.
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| Life has an interesting way of handing out backhanded happiness. I got
my AP scores today and there is nothing to complain about there. In
fact, if I wasn't conceited before, I certainly will be now. Consider
yourself warned. I will henceforth be insufferable.
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| I was watching "Victoria and Albert" the other day, about Queen
Victoria and her husband. It was an A&E production, much like pride
and prejudice except about real people, and a little (or a lot) less
time consuming. It was interesting to observe the difference between
the royal family then (as they portrayed it) and the royal family now
(as the press portrays them). Victoria was all in all a good person,
despite her fault for pride. However, pride is an understandable fault
when someone becomes the most important woman in the world at the age
of eighteen. It was also interesting to see the difference a good man
can make on the personality of the woman in a marriage. He was amazing
from the first. He initiated the removal of a man from office for
cheating on his wife. Infidelity was as great as any crime, and
dishonesty for the most sacred of vows that man could take was a
reflection on character according to Prince Albert. Would not it be
wonderful if the government officials still held honesty, chastity, and
puirty in high esteem today? His goodness to his wife helped her
to respect him all the more and changed her from self centeredness to
seflessness. I cannot help but have an improved opinion of the heritage
for the English monarchy, even if they're behavior at present is so
despicable. Where are the good leaders like that today, and why do they
seem to have disappeared? President Bush at least professes a belief in
God and he has been faithful to his own wife. But politics in general
requires such dishonesty- is it possible anymore to have good people in
charge? What is it about power that corrupts so absolutely, and if it
is so detrimental then why do men seek it with such reckless abandon?
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